Seriously

A lesson for all the single women out there, my age, younger, and even otherwise -- never take a man seriously unless he has already taken you seriously. Never give a man your heart until you're ABSOLUTELY SURE that he's completely and absolutely serious about you.

It is our ultimate privilege as women to have the last say if we should give chance to a relationship. And as it should be, we should always seize that privilege. The latter times have given rise to what they say "equal opportunity", women being the agressive party with regards to starting relationships. I'm not saying that that is wrong. I've been there somehow, and I have some idea of what it takes to have been down that road. However, I would like to point out that in taking the initiative, we give up that opportunity to find out and filter out the good and sincere men before we even give them a chance at our hearts.

Men are supposed to prove their sincerity and genuine desire to be with us before we even decide to entertain the thought of completely giving or hearts to them. We should let them take the initiative to get to know us, to discover our best and worst, and then let them decide if they can tolerate us, if they can love us for what we are and for what we are not. Courting shouldn't be superficial where both parties excert much effort simply to impress the other.

Men and women are simply wired differently when it comes to romance, intimacy, and relationships. I can't say exactly how men view these things, but for women these are often fused together in a package that we closely associate with love. We feel a certain affinity and closeness to someone, we engage in an exchange of romantic thoughts and ideas, we ascribe intimacy to the relationship, with or without commitment. There is nothing wrong with this, except that this tend to be a bigger gamble at a possibly big heartbreak, especially when we end up giving our heart to someone who was not serious about us to begin with.

When we let them have the chance to take us for granted, we have to admit that it was our fault up to a certain degree.

Thus, before you even decide to give your whole heart to anyone, make sure he is COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY SERIOUS about you. Let him show you that. Give him the chance to show you that. You don't need to be difficult or cruel to him. But you shouldn't be all about him either. You can be sweet and caring, but only to a degree that is natural for you to be to other people around you. Let him become a genuine friend, first and foremost.

If he is indeed serious, he should make it known at the proper time. Don't push things to happen before they are meant to happen. If a man never comes through, it only means that he is not serious about you. Never fall for a man who loves his ego too much that he is afraid to risk his ego over you. That person will never be man enough for you.

A man who is serious about you will not be afraid to face your family. He will be more than willing to get to know your friends. He will care about most of the things that you care about. He will never have too little time to spend on you. He will make an effort to show his sincerity.

There are so many great and wonderful men in the world, but only a few who would truly take you seriously. It's not worth risking your heart over those unwilling others. So make an active effort to guard your heart before finding that person worth risking your heart for.